Addictions
Drugs
Top 5 Triggers of Addiction Relapse and How to Avoid Them
"Your family members might also be a trigger, even if they were not directly involved because THEY MAKE YOU FEEL MORE CHILD-LIKE AND VULNERABLE"
IT NOT ENOUGH TO BE COMPASSIONATE IN SILENCE. YOU NEED TO SHOW UP."
"RESEARCH SHOWS STIGMA PREVENTS PEOPLE FROM SEEKING HELP FOR THEIR CONDITION"
https://www.facebook.com/enrique.castro.73/posts/1930078673702732
"We’ve GOT to be ABLE to TALK about things THAT ARE DAMAGING US."
"THERE IS A LACK OF UNDERSTANDING ABOUT TRAUMA, and a lack of will to talk about problematic sex. BECAUSE EXPERTS DON'T WANT TO SHAME ANYONE, they won’t talk about it,’ Todd tells Gay Star News."
"MANY OF US HAVE A BASELINE ANXIETY IN THE TRAUMA OF GROWING UP LGBT, one where we did not feel safe. LEADING US TO INTERNALIZE THE IDEA THAT WE ARE A THREAT TO OURSELVES. Leading us to become anxious about our entire being."
"The ‘holy trinity’ MAKE YOU TALKATIVE, CONFIDENT AND HORNY. Exactly what so many gay and bi men who grew up struggling with their sexuality and identity – WANT A QUICK FIX FOR.'
‘It manifests as, I FEEL really UNATTRACTIVE, I’m OBSESSED BY MY LOVE HANDLES, I’m UGLY. Or perhaps in a need bitch about people all the time, NOT TRUSTING your partners or constantly thinking your handsome boyfriend is too good for you. It could be as simple as needing to go to the pub as soon as you finish work. THE SHAME I'M TALKING ABOUT IS SUBCONSCIOUS."
"They can feel as if it supports RELIGIOUS IDEAS THAT WE ARE [or should be] ASHAMED OF OURSELVES – but my message is the opposite of that: we shouldn’t feel ashamed and WE CAN DEAL WITH THE DAMAGE SHAME HAS DONE TO US BUT WE HAVE TO ACKNOWLEDGE IT TO DO THAT."
"BENEATH THE SURFACE OF THE DRUG USE of so many of the men [that come to the group] are STORIES OF SHAME FROM FAMILY, RELIGIONS, and SCHOOL ABOUT BEING LGBTI."
https://www.facebook.com/enrique.castro.73/posts/1812727022104565
A number of GAY HOOKUP APPS and WEBSITES are now convenient means of OBTAINING METH. Pagan used the apps MANHUNT and BBRT to meet men who were into “PARTY AND PLAY,” shorthand for getting high and having sex."
“…Pagan snaps his fingers to show how FAST he could FIND METH via the apps. He explains how men strategically INSERT CAPITAL T’s—for TINA, slang for CRYSTAL METH—into their profiles to SIGNAL they HAVE or WANT the DRUG. Pagan scrawls an example on my notepad: “hoT guy here looking for . . . .”
"Riley says 60 to 70 percent of those enrolled in Whitman-Walker’s evening treatment program at any given time list METH as their preferred drug. “I think it DOES A LOT TO REDUCE STIGMA and SHAME, so if you’re a gay man who has grown up in our culture, and you’ve gotten all these messages about [how] your desire for men is bad, and you couple that with the very real HIV epidemic, you set up a situation where SEX IS SHAMING and DANGEROUS. WHEN YOU'RE HIGH, IT TAKES ALL THAT AWAY.”
https://www.facebook.com/enrique.castro.73/posts/1621042264606376
From a good article published last year - 2017: * * * CANADA, ........, more GAY MEN were DYING from SUICIDE THAN FROM AIDS, and had been for years. (This might be the case in the U.S. too, he says, but NO ONE HAS BOTHERED TO STUDY IT.) * * *
"In SWEDEN, which has had civil unions since 1995 and full marriage since 2009, MEN MARRIED TO MEN have TRIPLE the SUICIDE rate of men married to women."
*** YOU GO FROM YOUR MOM'S HOUSE TO A GAY CLUB WHERE A LOT OF PEOPLE ARE ON DRUGS AND IT'S LIKE, THIS IS MY COMMUNITY? IT'S LIKE THE F_ _ _ _ _ _ JUNGLE ***
"….the feeling of distance from other people didn’t go away. So he treated it, he says, “with LOTS and LOTS of SEX. IT'S OUR MOST ACCESSIBLE RESOURCE IN THE GAY COMMUNITY. ""
“GAY MEN in particular are just NOT VERY NICE to EACH OTHER,”
https://www.facebook.com/enrique.castro.73/posts/1832092493501351
"Among SURVIVORS of all types of CHILDHOOD TRAUMA, including EMOTIONAL NEGLECT and PHYSICAL BEATINGS, people who experience SEXUAL ABUSE AS CHILDREN are most likely to RELAPSE into DRUG use, receive warrants for their arrest and fail out of drug court, according to Wolf’s research."
Confronting trauma, overcoming addiction: A woman's journey through NJ's drug courts https://www.facebook.com/enrique.castro.73/posts/1917342351643031
The men WHO ABSTAIN from SEX (FOR ONE YEAR) and from sexually triggering behavior stay clean. THE ONES WHO DON'T, DON'T."
Memories: https://www.facebook.com/enrique.castro.73/posts/1839088892801711
"….the feeling of distance from other people didn’t go away. So he treated it, he says, “with LOTS and LOTS of SEX. IT'S OUR MOST ACCESSIBLE RESOURCE IN THE GAY COMMUNITY. "" Memories: https://www.facebook.com/enrique.castro.73/posts/2152909098086354
“I think it does a lot to reduce stigma and shame, so if you’re a gay man who has grown up in our culture, and you’ve gotten all these messages about [how] your desire for men is bad, and you couple that with the very real HIV epidemic, you set up a situation where sex is shaming and dangerous. WHEN YOU'RE HIGH, IT TAKES ALL THAT AWAY.”
Memories: https://www.facebook.com/enrique.castro.73/posts/1621042264606376?hc_location=ufi
We must understand that people who struggle with addiction are our neighbors, siblings, friends, and fellow human beings. Addiction is not a crime. And often when an unfortunate criminal act is committed by one struggling with addiction the intent is not to harm other people but is focused solely on being able to find the means to continue the addictive behavior. We lock these people away at great cost and there are those who profit of such suffering. We give fines to those probably most not able to pay them. We ask these people to become 'productive citizens' but erect many barriers for them, dehumanize them, and disconnect from them by cruel forms of stigma. We must focus on their true nature, help them to triumph over the tragic, to believe in themselves. Confrontation and disconnection will never be a solution. We must be patient and invest our energy into the means by which we not only save lives but transform lives by giving opportunity and dignity.
Dr. Dan L. Edmunds
"SILENCE and LACK of adequate medical TREATMENT are KILLING those WHO SUFFER from ADDICTION. A silence that is partly caused by stigma because those addicted fear being RIDICULED and SHAMED by THEIR PEERS."
Memories: https://www.facebook.com/enrique.castro.73/posts/2142606975783233
"This means that ADDICTS DON'T USE TO FEEL GOOD, THEY USE TO FEEL LESS. Whatever the addiction, the underlying motivation is the same. The addict wants to control what he or she is feeling. And addictive substances and behaviors all happily oblige by altering brain chemistry in ways that TEMPORARILY DISTRACT THE ADDICT FROM STRESS, EMOTIONAL DISCOMFORT, DEPRESSION, ANXIETY, BOREDOM, LONELINESS, ETC."
"The REASON most addicts start abusing drugs in the FIRST PLACE is to DISSOCIATE from the feelings of TERROR and SHAME caused by CHILDHOOD ABUSE".
"Most were abused as children - sexually, physically, and/or emotionally, but not all have experienced abusive or neglectful childhoods. However, THE MAJORITY GREW UP IN FAMILIES IN WHICH ADDICTION HAD ALREADY FLOURISHED, including alcoholism, compulsive eating, and compulsive gambling. Most sex addicts grapple with other addictions as well, but they find SEX ADDICTION THE MOST DIFFICULT TO STOP
WE HAVE TO STOP DISCRIMINATING AGAINST ADDICTS “I know a lot people in recovery who have not told their employers (about their drug history) because of the fear of the reaction they’ll get. And I’ve seen a lot of people relapse because of overworking themselves at a job and not being able to get time off work. The employer has no idea that they need to also work on recovery.”
Posted on August 16, 2018: https://www.facebook.com/enrique.castro.73/posts/1963308443713088?hc_location=ufi
"THOSE WHO SUCCEED UNIVERSALLY LEARN TO MEASURE THEMSELVES BY THAT WHICH IS IMMEASURABLE: KINDNESS, LOVE, A SPIRITUAL UNDERSTANDING OF EXISTENCE. THESE ARE THINGS THAT NEVER FADE AND CANNOT GROW OLD, BUT ALWAYS GET BETTER WITH AGE."
"The REASON most addicts start abusing drugs in the FIRST PLACE is to DISSOCIATE from the feelings of TERROR and SHAME caused by CHILDHOOD ABUSE"
"‘They can feel as if it supports religious ideas that we are [or should be] ashamed of ourselves – but my message is the opposite of that: we shouldn’t feel ashamed and WE can DEAL with the DAMAGE SHAME has done to us but we HAVE to ACKNOWLEDGE it to do that.’"
Memories: https://www.facebook.com/enrique.castro.73/posts/1810985912278676:22
"Her advice for supporting a loved one through a relapse? “Empathy, empathy, empathy. REMOVE SHAME, DON'T BLAME, AND SHOW LOVE.""
“THERE IS NOT SHAME IN CONNECTION AND BEING A PERSON” she says. “We all need help sometimes and the best help anyone can get is genuine, compassionate and trustworthy connection from another person. The best thing to do is love them, support them, encourage treatment, and be understanding to their struggle.”
Here's How to Support Someone Experiencing a Relapse
"Many FLIGHT ATTENDANTS ARE AFRAID TO SEEK HELP FOR THEIR MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES OR SUBSTANCE ABUSE IN FEAR OF LOSING THEIR JOB. The Flight Attendant Drug and Alcohol Program (FADAP) is there to help flight attendants get the help they need without losing their job."
Flight Attendants: Addiction & Mental Health "Addiction Treatment Center Recovery Ways
"It’s a reality born from a drug that heightens the libido, but also helps MANY GAY MEN CARE LESS ABOUT HOW SOCIETY TREATS AND JUDGES THEM."
Meth a special challenge among gay men | Meth Effect https://www.facebook.com/enrique.castro.73/posts/2165427406834523
"AFTER ONE YEAR of evaluation, the results showed that METH USERS HAD A LOWER RATIO OF CD4/CD8 CELLS—immune cells playing an important role in HIV—indicating less resilience of the immune system. ADDITIONALLY, these men had a MEASURABLY HIGHER AMOUNT OF HIV IN THEIR SEMEN."
"For members of the gay community who are already HIV positive, USING CRYSTAL METH SPEEDS UP THE DAMAGE TO THEIR BODIES and MINDS. Even with the most effective anti-viral drug cocktails, HIV positive people are susceptible to a host of brain and body illnesses. Weight loss, muscle deterioration and AIDS dementia are commonly advanced among members of the gay HIV positive community."
"Once in RECOVERY, most gay men wrestle with the fact that THEY CAN NO LONGER SEXUALLY PERFORM as they did while actively using meth. During the RECOVERY PROCESS, they are FACED WITH THE REALITY THAT SOBER SEX IS MUCH DIFFERENT THAN METH SEX. And for some, the RESULTING SENSE OF LOSS IS TOO MUCH TO HANDLE."
"Since SEXUAL ACTIVITY PLACES GAY MEN AT A HIGH RISK OF RELAPSE, most EXPERTS ADVISE them to ABSTAIN FROM SEX OF ANY KIND FOR AT LEAST ONE YEAR. The RESULTING INTIMACY ISOLATION can make it EXTREMELY DIFFICULT FOR GAY MEN TO STAY OFF METH."
7 Shocking Facts About Meth in the Gay Community https://www.facebook.com/enrique.castro.73/posts/2748794195164505?viewas=100000686899395
"Mr Yorke believes that many users, who are often maintaining dual lives with a professional career, HAVE NOWHERE TO TURN WHEN THINGS GET OUT OF CONTROL. “The problem was, there was nowhere to go to. THERE IS VERY LITTLE EDUCATION ABOUT WHAT YOU CAN AND CAN'T DO,” he said. Healthcare professionals are well aware of the culture and associated problems."
“If you are FEELING ASHAMED of your identity, if you’re NOT feeling CONFIDENT, IF you are NOT LOOKING how you believe you feel you should look or as young as you want to feel, and YOU P A I R that with CRYSTAL METH, and you FEEL GREAT and can get anyone you want, and you can have SEX for LONGER”
"...crystal METH had BECOME the MOST widely used illicit DRUG among GAY and BISEXUAL men by the late 1990s and early 2000s."
"METH use can CAUSE “memory loss, aggression, psychotic behavior, damage to the cardiovascular system, malnutrition, and severe dental problems,”
"...how crystal METH came to BE SEEN as a “GOOD FIT” by gay men, and noted such shared life experiences as FAMILY DISAPPROVAL and HOMOPHOBIA, and such touchstones of gay culture as ’70s disco, the AIDS crisis, marriage equality, the internet and dating apps."
For some gay men, 'Sexuality and experimentation and drug use became intertwined'
Memories: https://www.facebook.com/enrique.castro.73/posts/1803786846331916?hc_location=ufi
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"Learning to recognize triggers, getting help from a counselor, and building a support network are all useful tools in PREVENTING A RELAPSE. Do everything you can to protect yourself, but don't beat yourself up if you do slip. Remember, RELAPSE IS NOT A SIGN THAT YOU RECOVERY FAILED. You're navigating a new and unfamiliar path. So, with continued therapy and support you should be able to build stronger defenses against common triggers."
Memories: https://www.verywellmind.com/why-did-i-relapse-21900
'Meth binges are called “tweaking.” TOO OFTEN, TO AVOID THE DEPRESSION and PHYSICAL WEAKNESS ASSOCIATED WITH A METH COMEDOWN, SOMEONE ABUSING THE DRUG WILL TAKE MORE, which increases the intensity of effects and side effects. THIS, IN TURN, INCREASES THE INTENSITY OF DEPRESSION SYMPTOMS WHEN THE DRUG BEGINS TO WEAR OFF, LEADING THE INDIVIDUAL TO TAKE MORE METH.'
'These DEPRESSIVE SYMPTOMS can be significant and ASSOCIATED with THOUGHTS OF SUICIDE. In addition, research has indicated that a good number of individuals who relapse do so because of feelings of depression, apathy, hopelessness, etc.'
Memories: https://www.facebook.com/enrique.castro.73/posts/2839635676080356
"Meth is a dangerous drug to take. So, while quitting is advised, it can be accompanied by a variety of PHYSICAL and PSYCHIATRIC SYMPTOMS. If possible, it is best to come off the drug with medical supervision." https://www.facebook.com/enrique.castro.73/posts/2728772910499967
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Memories: https://www.facebook.com/enrique.castro.73/posts/3259903190720267
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Sex Addiction
"TRAUMA SURVIVORS may have experienced emotional CHILDHOOD TRAUMA in the form of an ABUSIVE PARENT or LOVED ONE. This type of abusive trauma may take the FORM of demanding, DEMEANING VERBAL ATTACKS, or it could be in the form of PHYSICAL or SEXUAL ABUSE."
"No matter what the type of CHILDHOOD TRAUMA, the NEGATIVE IMPACT on the victims is PROFOUND and LASTING. While one person may find the ability to cope with a traumatic event, another MAY DEVELOP ADDICITIONS and other BEHAVIORAL ISSUES to cope."
"Most were abused as children - sexually, physically, and/or emotionally, but not all have experienced abusive or neglectful childhoods. However, THE MAJORITY GREW UP IN FAMILIES IN WHICH ADDICTION HAD ALREADY FLOURISHED, including alcoholism, compulsive eating, and compulsive gambling. Most sex addicts grapple with other addictions as well, but they find SEX ADDICTION THE MOST DIFFICULT TO STOP."
Porn Addiction
'NEGLECTED CHILDREN TEND TO GROW INTO ADULTS WHO FEEL UNWANTED, UNLOVED, OR INADEQUATE. Those adults will seek to find a place where they belong, even if it comes with negative consequences."
"KIDS OFTEN GROW INTO ADULTS WHO CARRY AROUND OF WORHLESSNESS. Once you believe something for long enough, IT HAS THE POWER TO BECOME YOUR IDENTITY. You learn to respond out of that identity and involve yourself with others who seem to mirror the same beliefs.
Breaking Free From the Struggle With Porn by Understanding Your Past
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